yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
