That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
