Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
