If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
