Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
