do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
