I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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