he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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