Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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