I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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