I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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