I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
