Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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