my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
