the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
