some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
