I just pynch a tree in the face
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
