Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
