awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize