I am midnight drunk by noon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
