And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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