She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
