ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
