nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
