Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this beer tastes like vomit already
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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