Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
