end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
