OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
