I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
