Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
