You can't special order awesome
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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