dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
