yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
