Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
