wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
