just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
