it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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