I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
