This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
