I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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