So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
