how can u be prego again
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
