its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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