Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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