Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
