I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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