I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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