After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
