the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize