Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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