what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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