just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
