he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize