Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
