They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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