have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
