Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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