i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
