I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
