Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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