Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
