every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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