Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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