He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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