come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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