don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
