I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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