you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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