I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
