I hate your face
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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