Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
