We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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