That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish you could order shots online.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
