I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
