you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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